


805

by Phiso



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: M/M, save it from the LJ purge!, so old oh dear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-25
Updated: 2010-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-27 02:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10799694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phiso/pseuds/Phiso
Summary: “Stand up, Sirius, stand up, you just fell, you just –”





	805

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2007, slightly edited in 2010, and posted here to save it from LJ. Oh! And I don't own Eisley. So that repeating line, yep, does not belong to me. Nor do the characters or situation, but you knew that already. I also apologize for the crazy, inconsistent italics and bolds; this was me playing with them to figure out how they all worked best.

 

It didn't make sense. Why - why wasn't he coming back?

 

Time froze, and Remus stopped breathing.

 

It had been a duel, that's all – _a duel_ , Merlin, Sirius had been in hundreds before. How had he fallen this time? _How_ –  
  
A punch to the stomach – he wanted to wretch – his eyes wide, terrified, his horror ready to overflow. No, Sirius had **not** just done this to him, he had **not** just abandoned him again and left him alone, not after it took so long to find him again!

 

_Hold on, hold on to the ones you love…_

 

When they had heard about what happened from Snape, Sirius was furious; it took everything he had to keep Sirius from simply bolting down to the Ministry and getting himself arrested.

As they waited, Sirius paced, and Remus watched him, his hand on his forehead, worry etched on his features.

 

Stand up, Sirius _, stand up_ , you just _fell_ , you just –

 

When they arrived, Sirius and Remus had been first in line, their senses keen and sharp, hunting the burning odor of spells like predators, moths to a flame. Sirius had even transformed in an effort to find them faster, his nose leading his paws straight to the source. Sirius was always foolhardy when it came to defending those he cared about.

 

Sirius, stop being stupid, just get up, **just get up** _ **please**_ –

 

Remus would have loved to stop and watch Sirius duel – he was always so good at it, amazingly fast and graceful to boot. He didn't, though. Bellatrix and Malfoy were there, Dolohov, Avery – he had to keep them away from Sirius, especially the relatives. They would do **anything** _,_ stop at **nothing** to get back at him.

 

_Padfoot…Padfoot_ _ **, please**_ …

 

When Tonks fell – the poor child, fighting her aunt, her mother's sister – Remus stepped forward, wand at the ready, but Sirius beat him to it. He wished he hadn't.

Decades of fury, of denial and betrayal and hate and pain poured out of Sirius – they dueled like royalty, their chins set high and identical looks of steely determination in their eyes. Neither of them was going to back down until the other was dead.

 

_Harry was struggling in his arms, screaming, screaming, screaming the words he so wished to scream, to tear out of his chest and throat and bellow in anguish –_

 

It didn't make sense. What color was the spell? Remus couldn't remember. All he could remember was the look on Sirius's face as he fell, the memory of who he used to be echoing in the wolf's mind –

 

Scream, _scream -_ if Harry can, surely you have the right. Kill her, kill her, _kill her_ for killing Sirius, for killing _you_ , for stealing from you the last shred of hope you had to hold on to, for stealing him, him, _him_ – _she_ deserved to die, not him, **definitely not him** , just kill her **, kill her** , or better yet _bite her, just wait for the right moment and put her through hell –_

No. No, Harry couldn't fall apart, _**he**_ _wouldn't fall apart_ , Sirius wouldn't want that, they were still in danger, could still get hurt. He had to remain calm. He couldn't lose Harry – _or himself_ \- not now, not after losing Sirius.

 

Why, _why_ had Harry listened to the dream, had Snape stopped the lessons, had Harry seen the memory, had Sirius said he was bored…

Would things be different if he had stopped them?

 

_Hold on, hold on to the ones you love…_

 

It's hard to hold on when your world just shattered.

 

Then again, Sirius was never one to think things through.


End file.
